What I Learned When I Accidentally Went To Therapy (Part 2)

The good news (or bad news, depending on your perspective) about accidentally going to therapy (see part 1) is that the good doctor determined that my problems were small — I do live a blessed life! — and that I had no significant trauma to overcome that would warrant the EMDR technique that I had sought him out for.

And since he knew enough about me by then to arrive at this conclusion, we continued the chat I had already paid for and he taught me a way to have a conversation within myself that could help me establish some balance and peace inside.

Parts of me had been battling other parts of me.

My entrepreneur side had been bullying all my other pieces of me (mom, wife, higher self, healthy self, relaxation seeking self, etc.) and hogging the calendar. It wasn’t feeling good. But how to fix it?

Actually, it was more like spoiled little girls in an argument than an actual battle. Each perspective was vying for time and attention, whining, being stubborn, and to me it felt like all the parts were losing at once. I felt like I was losing ground in every area, even though it looked like I was working my guts out all day every day.

His solution was to have each part of me take a seat and chat. I imagined it as a sort of tea party. I have a long white bar in my kitchen, so each “me” sat at a white barstool and they each took turns speaking their mind.

At the risk of feeling like my shrink was guiding me gently into schizophrenia, I separated different perspectives within myself and observed as each got uninterrupted time to speak. Each felt somewhat ripped off from lack of attention, had goals and desires, felt hopeful it could come together and at the same time fearful it never would.

I got to listen to each valid feeling from each role that was important to me. Myself as mom, wife, entrepreneur, spiritual person, healthy person, self (at the time it was 4 clear roles — looking back now I’m not sure how I had divided them up).

I got to talk through each of their ideas, feelings, perspectives. Each was validated. They were able to speak calmly and feel heard, to work together to find solutions, to form an unusual sort of a Mastermind, in the most literal sense!

It felt so odd at first, like it was forbidden for some reason (??). It was just making peace within myself. It didn’t mean I had suffered a breakdown. Allowing a voice to all my feelings wasn’t wrong or crazy. It was actually reconciling and liberating.

The conclusion? There was room for every part of me.

I could make compromises. I could carve out time if I was intentional. I could realize that I don’t have to excel in every area at exactly the same time. And that sometimes a great push and focus requires a short term sacrifice and I get to decide if the payoff is worth it and if I choose it or not. I could see that there are seasons in life.

I can do more than I think I can, especially when I’m aligned with myself and my values are honored, AND I don’t have to do it all to be fantastic.

Ah…yes.

Crazy or not, I recommend you have a little sit down with yourselves at your imaginary bar and talk it all out.

Worst case, not much changes but your different roles may become friends.

Best case, they decide to take turns and share.

You’ll be amazed at what life looks like when you get along with yourself. Harmony, unity, alignment. So good. Yes.

You are Infinite…